Ever wanted to be that party guest who makes everyone uncomfortable? Just follow my simple steps outlined below and you'll be on your way to social awkwardness mastery in no time.
1. Attend your dear friend's bridal shower and establish yourself as the life of the party. Make tasteful jokes and enjoy delightful conversation with the other guests. You should now be thinking "This is going really well. Everyone seems to like me and we're all having a really good time".
2. Now that all eyes are on you to provide the occasional funny quip or lighthearted jest, wait until the guest-of-honor starts to detail why she will be keeping her maiden name, while her children will have her husband's surname.
3. This is the crucial moment where you tell a room full of strangers about your parents' divorce and how horrible it was to grow up with a different last name than your own mother. Don't forget to provide a taste of reality by reminding the bride-to-be that the kids will probably live with her if she gets a divorce and wouldn't it be nice for the children not to have to change their name later in life when they come to resent their father for abandoning them and their mother.
4. Scan the room for awkward laughter and nervous hand wringing.
5. Excuse yourself to refresh your drink and enjoy the awkward moment you have created.